The Prayer Request

How would you deal with this?

I know that my problems..would never be as bad, cos there’ll always be someone else who’s got it worst. I’m 17, I’m young, I know I still got a long way ahead. But, as long as these problems stay with me, I can never move ahead with my life.

I was raped when I was 15. Well, not raped. Forced would be a better word. The problem is not in the raping. The problem lies in my not caring. It doesn’t affect me like how it’d affect a normal person. What is wrong with me? I confided in my boyfriend, I felt that he should know. He is upset that I accepted it so easily. And it’s becoming a hindrance.

I used to be a lolita, I smoked I drank and had casual one-night stands.

And now, I can’t forgive myself. What makes it worst, is my dampening faith. I know God is there. I know he is. I just..can’t feel him, or hear him. I want him to show me that he is real. That all that is said in the Bible about him aren’t lies. That he truly loves me for who I am, despite everything. That he loves everyone. I’ve been a skeptic for too long, and it’s eating me. So many questions, that hinder my faith. I want to break free from everything! Someone, please help me. I’ve tried to pray but, my mum once taught me that the prayer of multitudes is more powerful. Thank You