Articles by Johnny Malkavian

me:
i had a backstage pass
ironically, it didn’t let me go there from the front of house
the usher didn’t let me,
cuz “the audience might want to do the same”
i thought to myself
there’s a reason why there are people on the stage, receiving glory as heads of marketing, choreographers, producer, director, composer, etc
and why you are not one of them
and i found a little comfort in that
she’s probably 19, 20 ?
fast forward ten years
it’s still the same
we still get the same people who have stepped up to claim their right to the spotlight
and others who mindlessly follow instructions they neither care for nor understand.

… and it was the office of an MLM company in the throes of neverending sales/recruitment pitches, complete with squat little tables and chairs and manic sales representatives driven mad by greed.

Then I dreamt I was taken to heaven (presumably to show that it is indeed a better place), but I can’t remember for the life of me, what it looked like. Except that it was bright all around… so much light and blue skies.

I also dreamt of someone I had a crush on last year, and even though I had decided to close that chapter and not look back, in my dream, I felt how I felt when I first met her (stronger, if it’s even possible).

In the dream, I had asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The joy that had filled me was like nothing I had ever felt when I was awake, and it stayed with me for the rest of the day. It wasn’t like how sometimes, you get together with someone just for its own sake. In the dream, it felt like it was the answer to everything I wanted, and more.

I guess the mind might sometimes decide to let go, but the heart never forgets.

It was when an unidentified guy persuaded her to go back on her decision that I gave her a slap. It was that which triggered the heaven and hell sequence.

Her birthday is in about two weeks, and I don’t know how I can say ‘Hi’ without sounding like a loser/stalker after all this time.

“Heather’s trying to redeem herself by helping Garrett with his meat.”

2:59:53 PM me: my registration to be a relief teacher got approved, btw

3:00:27 PM her: Zao an, lao shi!

3:00:45 PM me: hahaha
3:00:50 PM me: no teach chinese, unfortch

3:01:15 PM her: FORTCH, you mean.

3:01:33 PM me: zao an, lao shi has got a certain ring to it
3:02:00 PM me: better than little mats going ‘cher ‘cher

3:02:18 PM her: Ha.
3:02:22 PM her: Which school, do you know?

3:02:25 PM me: nope
3:02:32 PM me: wait for them to call
3:02:34 PM me: no hurry

3:02:38 PM her: So they could bastard you and send you to Jurong West?
3:02:50 PM her: And what would you be teaching?

3:02:58 PM me: i’m actually better acquainted with the schools in the west
3:03:02 PM me: most of them were my customers
3:03:13 PM me: english lor

3:03:14 PM her: Err, yes, but you also have to be in school for flag-raising…
3:03:32 PM her: Ah, right, ok.
3:04:18 PM her: “Today, we’re going to learn about journal writing. Now, for this entire week, I’ll like you to write your sexual fantasies. Don’t worry, it’s just between you and I. I won’t tell anyone. So let’s start from today. A page per day. Ok?”

3:05:32 PM me: “those who have problems writing, please stay back after class for makeout, no makeup, lessons”

3:06:26 PM her: “You’re getting the hang of this exercise. Very good. Keep going, don’t stop.”
3:07:14 PM her: Err, you don’t have teacher-student fantasies, right? I mean, on the very rare occasion that your lib’s actually ALIVE, you don’t, right?

3:07:35 PM me: only when i’m the student..
3:07:37 PM me: hahahha

3:07:45 PM her: LOL, killah.

Right after I got the very last job I applied for, pretty much all the applications I’d sent out starting calling me back to offer me positions. It came a full circle today when one of the first applications I put up finally got back to me to tell me I was accepted.

I am now a registered relief teacher.

My life is complete.